I just like being here
belonging to space // belonging in space
Last night, I hosted a reunion circle for the folks who participated in me and Ty’s most recent immersion on Vancouver Island. It was a “snack-sized” circle — just 40 minutes of practice — but we all came away touched.
Sometimes circling becomes a miniature collective intelligence process. Last night was like that. We ended up circling the idea of belonging.
Belonging is one of those themes — probably alongside intimacy and authenticity — that makes formal relational practice an easy target for derision. Just a bunch of lonely hypermodern individuals, looking for somewhere to belong, we chide. Collective intelligence processes can get “hijacked by belonging needs,” the sophisticated take goes.
But as I look back on the practice, I see how belonging is a profound existential foundation for our participation with life. Some of what my friends said shifted my own felt sense of belonging on its axis.
Here is a tiny snapshot of the Circle — quotes shared with permission. (And a photo of a recent Sourcekeepers Guild gathering, for inspiration.)
“I am leaning towards the camera,” one of us says. “I am desperate for connection. I just want to belong. It embarrasses me.”
“My entire personality is set up so that I never feel that,” another says.
“Belonging was a big thing for me during my last training,” one of us says. “I’ve learned that contribution is a pathway to belonging for me. Just simple ways that I can do things for the group, and see that I matter. It’s enough.”
“I think I’m learning that belonging is a choice,” another says. “Right now I feel that I belong to the ocean, to this call. I don’t have to wait and check if I belong here; I can just decide. I do.”
“I like that,” another chimes in. “I think I’ve pretty much usually felt that I can walk into most rooms and belong. But something I really like is just belonging in space, belonging to space. It’s not even about what’s going on in relationally. I just like being here.”
I have decided to post on Substack every day in August. This is the second post.
Photo by Gabi Ramos.